make friends

How to make friends when you’re old

The older we get, the more bitter we become, and the choosier we are about the people we spend our time with. Does that mean that the older we get, the harder it is to make friends? What about maintaining existing friendships? Does it get easier as you’re friends with people for longer?

As sad and pathetic as this sounds, this post is based solely on trying to make friends just for the purpose of having friends.

What happened?

I was bullied… a lot. Unfortunately it’s one of those things that shapes your personality and you don’t have a choice. What’s happened in the past is past. It’s become a part of who I am. It’s made me introverted. Made me self-conscious.

Friends move away. They move on. Or make other friends. For school, for someone else, for themselves.

Being extremely introverted myself, it’s tough to forcibly engage in social interaction. But I’ve learned that I need to do it to prevent awkward situations, to have someone to eat lunch with every day (or even just occasionally), to know who to talk to about my hobbies or personal life. I put myself out there. I go out of my comfort zone to make other people feel comfortable. I’m also lazy.

Reconnect with old friends

Staying in contact with old friends is a two way street. If they never respond to your messages or screen your calls, I don’t think they like you anymore. It’s a sucky feeling, I know. I’ve been there. People live their own lives. Each relationship is different. If your friend is worth the wait worth pushing for, and you’re quite sure they still think you’re okay, then go for it!

Send that old friend a text message. Add them on Instagram or Snapchat and send them photos of your breakfast masterpiece. ”See? Now the waffle house has a little door!” Yeah, you’re right, that’s kind of lame. Why would you want your face in a phone when you could be experiencing the world?

Maintaining a purely digital relationship is no good. You need to meet up for a tea. Or you could go to a local event together. Oh, what? Now you have someone to go with you to that thing you’ve always wanted to see or do!

Meet new friends

I’ve learned to consider not just my thoughts when meeting someone new but also to measure the reaction of the other person from their body language, what they say, their facial expressions, and the second meeting.

I’ve learned that I need to put myself out there. Find common ground. Say words. Send invitations. Don’t be bitter. Be accepting of differences. Have fun.


Here’s a super nerdy video that you can probably relate to.


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